EXCLUSIVE!!! Extract from Stephen King's New Novel

Myopic Scribbler Commits Daylight Robbery

Volume 1 in his new interminable ‘Thinly Veiled Autobiography With Added Spiders' quartet.

By Stephen King

Chapter I

"Dangerous Place, Maine" Bob Author thought this to himself as he drove his '58 Plymouth Fury down the state freeway toward the town of Meaningless Biblical Allusion.

"Goddamn." he thought to himself. If only he hadn't murdered his evil double years earlier when he was 12 years old. It had been the fault of Jonny Switchblade, the kid in school who wore that goddamn leather jacket.

"Goddamn" he said, out loud this time, and lit up another cigarette. The leather creaked under him; it sounded like a sigh.

Goddamn.

Small paragraphs. The review from the paper the day before passed through his head once again. Small paragraphs, the critic had said, may be extremely readable, but they should not be mistaken for a legitimate way of conveying impact or seriousness. In fact, you know what the goddamn critic had called that device? Do you know?

Juvenile.

Goddamn.

At that point a large rabid dog crossed the road, chased by a giant spider. Bob Author didn't blink; as a child he'd got used to giant spiders and rabid dogs. This was Maine, after all.

Comments

[Jason]

hahaha that's actually rather good ;-)

[ffeff]

Brilliant. Now if only Bob Author would run over a little blonde girl who in retaliation set the Plymouth on fire, I'd be a very happy camper.